I am never held back or kept from my intentions by rules as much as I am by my own will
Mmkay, so what are you gonna do with that?
Well, I need to just take ownership and do those things and move past my distractions and excuses and believe in my goals and do what I’m meant to do
…I don’t know. I don’t know what I want exactly.
Words. I want words. I like writing them, making them, reading them, using them. Find the right words.
The right words for what?
The right words… to describe… the truth… reality. The words to capture reality. To share this reality. To share life. The right words to pass on something meaningful from what I’ve learned from my time here, something outside of myself.
You need to write religiously. Seriously. Read like it’s study, apprenticeship, rather than a hobby or something to pass the time. You hate your present habits but it has nothing to do with their monotony – stultification – and everything to do with keeping the wrong habits. Work at what you know you must and at least you will know you’ve made some progress in some intentional direction.
Now, like the man out his car window said: ‘Put your phone away and live your damn life’
That thing that you had been hiding for so long – didn’t it kill you?
Didn’t it claw at you from within; twist you to nausea like guilt so often does?
Maybe you’re just stronger than me – I know that’s what you thought.
It pissed you off that I always kept my cool. I made a point of keeping it, and I still do.
To you, my lack of hostility made me soft. I never knew what the thing that made you soften was.
Your entire life you were falling, and you never let me catch you until you were caught.
Try disparaging yourself more deeply
Cutting yourself down more comprehensively
Perhaps then you’ll finally be rid of all the reasons to go on
Maybe to aim so low is already too much of a direction for someone looking to be lost
Adjective – exempt from denouncing; that which simply cannot be spoken poorly of; incontestable
“…and I can’t scold you: you’ve got that indecriable charm.”