I am never held back or kept from my intentions by rules as much as I am by my own will
Mmkay, so what are you gonna do with that?
Well, I need to just take ownership and do those things and move past my distractions and excuses and believe in my goals and do what I’m meant to do
…I don’t know. I don’t know what I want exactly.
Words. I want words. I like writing them, making them, reading them, using them. Find the right words.
The right words for what?
The right words… to describe… the truth… reality. The words to capture reality. To share this reality. To share life. The right words to pass on something meaningful from what I’ve learned from my time here, something outside of myself.
You need to write religiously. Seriously. Read like it’s study, apprenticeship, rather than a hobby or something to pass the time. You hate your present habits but it has nothing to do with their monotony – stultification – and everything to do with keeping the wrong habits. Work at what you know you must and at least you will know you’ve made some progress in some intentional direction.
Now, like the man out his car window said: ‘Put your phone away and live your damn life’
I don’t condone violence, but I nearly always find coordinated insurrection agreeable.
The life cycle of a building man. It sits abandoned and then it either rots away, or it gets torn down, or someone revives it. Does something with it, from wherever it starts. Tiny weeds and flowers grow in after a forest fire, tiny bits of life poke their heads out to prove the coast is clear. There is decay and regeneration, necessary in tandem. The painted tags on those brick walls and boarded windows are like little seed heads poking through the ground. You know its living there. The more established the marks of culture, the safer it is to assume the establishment of that culture. Nothing is really stagnant, if it is affected by time. There is always change, and always opportunity to learn and grow and be. The only certainty is uncertainty, and that’s an incredible thing. You’ll never run out of ideas or circumstances to draw ideas from or possible combinations of the events that make up your life.
I was thinking though, on my walk home last night, about how serious we tend to take ourselves, myself included even, and how unnecessary it really is. Relationships are more valuable than checking my emails a couple hours earlier. Finding an opportunity to grow yourself means more than chaining yourself to your paycheck, especially if you have enough to live on plus save some. I think some of the things we were taught to value are a little off, or at least we have them misprioritized. This shit is fun, life, or it should be. We bring our troubles and concerns on ourselves, some justified and others not, but that’s for each to decide on their own. There isn’t some grand tournament to participate in whose rules we must play by or whose prizes we must hope to acquire. It’s about enjoying this shit, whatever that means to you. Kick the fuck back and stop getting so caught up in yourself. Breathe. Laugh at your stress. It’s not worth it. You’re doing it because you opted to, because you love it even. That’s everything in our lives. Let’s practice acting like it.